A friend of a friend died. I met him for maybe 2 minutes. I can honestly say
that I am pretty ambivalent about it. He was on a mailing list I am on, then I
found out he was Ken’s old friend. Ambivalent. Words on a screen.
Intangible. Like a news report. But watching my friend – one of the best
friends I have ever had- grieve… that matters.
I’d like you to read it.
I have things I have been thinking about writing
about, but I’ve been putting it off. There is always something else to do; more
often than not in my life, it’s a new way to waste time. I took my clock out of
storage, and hung it over my desk. Maybe- just maybe- that will make me more
aware of time, and what I do with it. That every circle on that clock is a
circle gone, and I will never get it back. How did I use it?
Recently I have become aware that a lot of
people have an opinion of Ken I do not share. So- first things first. Ken is one
of the best friends I have ever had, and a man I genuinely respect. He is a
honorable man, and gifted Dominant. I have learned a lot from him, I still do. I
will not hesitate, and have not ever hesitated to throw my lot and name in with
his… for whatever that is worth.
If I am chasing my dream, in the end I may not
succeed – but I do not think that is wasting my time.
We need our contract, we need to get to work, we
need our shot. We are close, but there are no promises, and not enough salvation
to go around.
My friends are drifting apart; entering a new
era of our lives. This is a profound shakeup- up until now the anchor of my
friendships has defined my life. I thought that was all there was, all there
would ever need to be. But that is not true. It’s just… changing. And I may be
a little sad… but it’s not wrong.
The Second Coming
TURNING and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds. The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
But it's not bad. It's just Kali come to claim her own. I'm simply not done yet, and had better get a goddamn move on.