First, there’s this. Unrelated, but it made me very happy.

Maybe not so unrelated. One of my favorite stories is called Murder Mysteries, by Neil Gaimian. It’s about a murder in Heaven, and the angel assigned to solve it, and his fall. This angel, our narrator, is no longer allowed to speak with God by the end- but he tells us, should we see Him, to tell Him “I’m still here. And I’m still doing my job.”

Bad Penny. Monkey Paw. You can’t ever read the fine print close enough. Hell, you never get to see the contract. You are what you are, you get what you want, and pay for it. Everybody pays. And what you buy- you get to keep forever. You, me, everybody. I spend a lot of time alone- and now I realize that I may never be alone again. Prayers for rain and dreams of candy.

So I look to my Mother, and say the one thing that makes any sense to me; the only thing which redeems:

I’m still here… and I’m still doing my job.

I’ll never marry. It’s not permanent enough.

And there’s not enough salvation to go around.

“There is a Devil in every story of Mr. Punch. Only sometimes he’s hard to find.”

Neil Gaiman – Mr. Punch

“Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to.”

– Hole