A word on Minions

In Blog by flagg0 Comments

I might suggest a word of caution about minions in general… one really should have NEED for them, and ways to keep them busy. Promises of wealth, glory, blood, lamentations of the women, an end to the voices, a perfect world or afterworld, racial purity, endless night, pixie stix, fat babies- whatever works on the particular breed you are employing- go only so far without having tasks which, regardless of actual importance,make them FEEL they are contributing to the Great Work.

Minions are not your friends.
Minions are not your pets.
Keeping minions in quasi religious awe or mortal terror of the passing of your shadow is a lot more work than you’d think.

Bored minions are nothing but trouble. Trust me on this.

An interested AEO wrote:

OK, Why don’t you send me a picture of both a small one and a medium
sized grown one and I can decide if I have someplace ot put one or ten
of them? That and care instructions. They don’t use litterboxes do
they? cause if they do that is a huge turnoff.

As an Aspiring Evil Overlord (cuz who else needs minions?) you should not have to worry about a litterbox. A real AEO makes them go in the neighbor’s begonias. If they complain, have them:
A. Rounded up and shot
B. Turn on each other in encroaching paranoia and mindless squabbles turned bloody
C. Poison their water, or
D. Eat them.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t know if you are AEO material.