Trail of Beers 2: This time it’s personal

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Trail of Beers 2: This time It’s personal.

Care of The Riso/Pott/Foo bartender’s guide:

The Drew:

6oz 25 yr old scotch, packet pathmark ice tea, serve with skittles in slurpee cup.
Steal cup when finished

The Ron:
4oz sambuka, 3oz marbles, 2 oz cheese, shake.
When drink arrives, return because it is not done right. Repeat.

The Thud:
1 pint sand, garnish with marshmallow

The Carlos:
One long, thick, firm banana. Douse in captain Morgan’s spiced rum, light on fire.
Consume whole.

The Nick:
One pair size small white cotton panties, soak in Absinthe, chew until intoxicated.

The Ari:
Soak 8 oz raw filet mignion in Hennesy VSOP, serve in oversize brandy snifter.. Swirl knowingly.

The Vlad:
3oz Courvoissier, serve on gyrating buttocks of naked brazilian stripper.
Pay repeatedly, never get drink.

The Max:
Whatever you say he should drink. Serve in high heel, dirty ashtray or dog bowl. (You still out there, Katz? Poke yer bald head up once in awhile!)

The Foo:
1 tub lard, 6 oz bitters. Blend well, make someone else drink it.

The Tommy:
Anything, served neat.

The Danny:
Schnapps with a corona chaser, pass for white.

The Dallas:
Colt .45 and Manichevitz. Drink loudly.

The Groo:
1 pt guiness, one bottle tabasco,one pack cigarettes. Blend with brick, serve over urinal cake.

The Melissa:
6oz coconut rum, 3 oz pineapple juice, ice. Blend, drink hastily,leave in the middle of the night, don’t look back, burn bridges behind you.

The Giaimo:
2 oz each of Grappa, Sambuka, Campari, Amaretto and Mad Dog 20-20. pour into jelly jar, deep fry, garnish with back hair. Serve warm.

The Ah Pook:
1 oz Adrenachrome, 1 human pineal gland, 1 pint raw ether, 2 tabs blotter acid. Shake in leather glove, give to roomful of underage girls and farm animals. Videotape.

The Tink:
1 bottle orange crush, 2 tablets Prozac, 2 oz bitters. Serve with a slap.

The Ken:
14 year old Sake. If waitress is not supermodel, ignore it.

The JoFo:
Strong drink, creeps up on you and usually gives you the giggles. No one knows what’s really in it, and it often cannot be found.

The Mark:
Wear the right clothes, go to the right bar, talk to the right girl.
Make the perfect martini.
Serve gay.