My animal has apparently been working on this for weeks.

I’ve never had a surprise party before. And it did flabbergast me. I was blushing like an idiot. I always do when I am reminded that my friends love me. 18 people; some scene, some not, and by the weirdest fluke of friends-of-friends, Nina Guccione- Bob Guccione’s daughter and Penthouse heir- were all at my table.

It was brazilian BBQ.. or, as we call it, meat coma… and I was (and still am) deleriously happy. A cross section of the people I love most were present, and regards from those who could not attend, and meat, and friends, and meat, and laughter, and meat, and presents, and meat, and friends, and meat…

A few times my animal caught me sitting and staring. She checked to see if I was OK. I was better than OK. I was overwhelmed. She kept it small enough to be manageable, but it was still big enough that I was poleaxed by the sheer number of people who hauled themselves into the Middle Of Nowhere, Queens, to come and gobble down lots and lots of meat with me. (Did I mention all the meat? There was meat. Lots of it. Meat.)

The best gift I can ever ask for is time with the people I love most. I am greedy for it. genuinely greedy. It defines how I most want to spend my minutes on this earth- making art, grinding pretty girls under my boot, and being with the people I truly love.

My animal has made me utterly, sublimely happy. She gave me my friends. My friends have made me tutterly, sublimely happy- they gave me their time. I am so fucking happy tonight, it’s embarrassing. There are people I miss- people I love who are not present- and I figure I am so happy, they should be getting a little tickle under their skirts from a long distance contact high.

There were other presents too.

For sheer utility, I got a sleek, black new 17″ monitor. It’s glorious. I’m using it right now. Sleek. Black. Bright. Big. Beautiful. Useful. And there among the games, movies and gift certificates shone the present that defined it all: A shiny, polished bone saw.

I tell you this:

Nothing says “I love you” like a bone saw.

Thank you, animal. Thank you, everybody.
I’m gonna sit here and glow awhile.

“I am not hungry, but thank goodness, I am greedy.”
-Punch