They say it’s a slow, horrible way to die.<\/p>\n
This morning my father suggested I seriously consider finding a group home to live in, as he will shortly be discontinuing his aid.<\/p>\n
A group home<\/em>.<\/p>\n The entire point<\/em> of bothering to have the fucking foot sawed off rather than let it fucking kill <\/em>me was to eventually regain my autonomy, my privacy, my dignity. To suggest I now give these things up indefinately….<\/p>\n I cannot express the depths of my horror, my revulsion. My despair.<\/p>\n Why fucking bother<\/strong>? It would be better to be shot like a lame horse. I cannot see the point in an exitance deprived of the things I value most.<\/p>\n My expenses are about 2K monthly. Things are great as far as Heavy Metal goes, but I have no idea yet how much they pay, and this has not turned into a career, just an opportunity. Teaching and lecturing makes me a couple of hundred a month, but it’s not steady or even dependable. I have no idea<\/em> how I can make that nut on a monthly basis.<\/p>\n I’m reacting hard right now, gutshot. I feel like a wounded animal,\u00a0 I’ve already gnawed off a leg to survuive, but now it does not seem like I should have gone to the trouble. A group home<\/strong>. No autonomy, no privacy, no dignity, no point<\/em>. I’m sure I’ll be more rational about this later, but I’m not there yet.<\/p>\n Fuck.<\/strong> I don’t know what to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" They say it’s a slow, horrible way to die. This morning my father suggested I seriously consider finding a group home to live in, as he will shortly be discontinuing his aid. A group home. The entire point of bothering to have the fucking foot sawed off rather than let it fucking kill me was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=112"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foolish-house.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}