I ache all over. This is the beginning of my third week on the job, and I am finally able to stay awake for more than a moment walking through the door. After about a decade of freelance computer and artwork (And sloth. Lots of sloth. Can’t forget that- that being “Sloth”. Not the critter. I don’t have one of those.)I am working 6 days, 50+ hours a week of physical work.
I’ve spent weeks being too exhausted to function and violent reactions from my body- especially in terms of diabetic backlash- and am finally becoming able to make it through the day without wishing I were going to be mercy-killed and even have a life outside of work. It was really depressing to be hurting, sick, and awake only to go get more of the same. I am beginning to see the light at the end, and am even losing some weight- which is good in every sense.
My pride took a huge hit taking this job, and even more after a few weeks at it. It’s the first time that I am not working based on my abilty, talent, skills or charm- I’m just filling a role, and a pretty lowly one at that. Most of what I do is humiliatingly menial. Low pay, long hours, grunt work. yesterday, it really hit me that I was waiting for something more… like this was hazing,m and if I just made it through I’d get to do the real job I was hired for- the one that involves me.
No. This is the job. This is what I am going to be doing for at least the next few months. Accept it, embrace it- because if I’m waiting for something else to happen, I am not going to do a good job.
I refuse to be doing this low work poorly. That would be disgraceful. That would be real humiliation, not just hurt pride.
I was struggling with that hurt pride (My other sin. Really, I’m just bragging- I collected the whole set of seven.) when my buddy Soulhuntre called with some good perspective.
What am I doing?
I’m gettin’ paid.
For now, that’s what I gotta do, and there’s no shame in that.
Comments
11 responses to ““Getting Paid””
all jobs are “filling a roll”…some just suck less than others – striving for excellence at whatever you do is a true goal in life
I don’t haul booze cause it’s fun. I do it for the cold hard cash. There is nothing dishnorable about an honest day’s work.
Not that there’s anything wrong with sloth either mind you…..
been there. done that. it sucked rocks. but, getting paid is a good thing.
do your job well – and it doesn’t matter what that job is. do it poorly, and, again, it doesn’t matter what the job is. do it with honor and it will be honorable work.
chop wood, haul water.
I’m gettin’ paid.
***
You’re also investing. No one can ever take a good work history away from you.
it might be hard, but I did roofing, landscaping, warehouse work, working at Subway, and many other menial tasks before I ended up where I am… and even that was start on the low end of the totem pole.
I agree, a job worth doing at all is a job worth doing well.
If you need anything just ask ๐
-T
Soulhuntre’s right.
anyway, there’s some pride to be had in taking the knocks with grace, right?
It won’t be long before someone notices your instinct for management.
It is your destiny, Otogiri – you cannot escape it, it cannot be taken from you.
Getting paid is good. After being out of work for 18 months my own self, I’ve realized just how damh good it is.
My mom always says, “If you’re gonna do something, do it right.” Sounds like you’re as wise as my Mom.
Hang in there, those first few weeks of a new job are always the hardest.
I know it might not be a good thing right now.
But this is better than sitting at home and brooding.
Brooding is not a deadly sin so there for it is a waste of time.
๐
Miss you Uncle.
It’s good to “see” you.
I’m glad that you’re adjusting – that adjustment, sometimes, is worse than the job itself.