My animal has been making a real effort to increase her usefulness/understand and meet my expectations. Over the last month or so, she’s showed me a lot of initiative, a lot of hard work. She’s bruised today because of it, and because of something else.
As I’ve been addressing my health/diabetes concerns im a more realistic fashion, I’ve been admitting/ acknowledging some of the complications I’ve been experiencing. Currently, trouble with my vision tops my list of “things I don’t want to think about” list. (Relax: I have been to a diabettic specialist and opthomologist, and it’s not as bad as the panic-prone among you are immediately assuming.)
Admitting that I am not as strong as I once was has been really hard. I can still put you through a wall- but I’d have to find you first and would be winded after. It’s been scary to turn to her in a resteraunt where the lighting is dim and have her check the menu for me, or doublecheck my insulin dosage. I don’t like being dependant or weak, and this whole thing, well, kinda freaks me out.
On the other hand, some of this I am already well prepared for. The idea of having an “animal” came from the term “service animal”- which is used to descrcribe seeing eye dogs and the like. I have every intention of having minions for as long as I can impose my will on them- and if I can’t find them, I’ll have other minions who will.
It’s not as bad as all that- the complications I am experincing, in general, are slight- I’m insured and under a good doctor’s care, and have not lost any function- just am coming to terms with the inevitable diminishment which diabetes brings.
During all this, my animal has not wavered. She seems to have a good grip on what she’s getting into, and still wants to be here. She has not hesitated to be useful and compensate for these demands as they emerge, and has not shied away from the possibilities of the future. Most of all, she has adapted without comment. She has simply and silently become my backup eyes, when the light is dim or the colors are too close for discernment. The fact that she has done so gracefully has made this much more tolerable to me, and allows me to concentrate on maintaining the present rather than despair over the future – which directly contributes to a better future.
Besides- in the worst case, I’ll get together with Boymeat and we’ll do a wacky Pryor/ Wilder comedy.