Dreams make no promises…

In The Doubtful Guest by flagg10 Comments

Lots of weird dreams lately- I know my animal has been having her share. It seems like all the stress of the current dogpile of issues is finding weird ways to vent itself. Some highlights:

A series of dreams which centered around the fact that my dear friend Thudthwacker was dead. (He’s not, or he’s updating his LJ posthumously). I knew for certain that he was dead in the dreams because I was making smoothies out of his hands and organs and chunks of ice, and choking them down in some sort of cannibal memorial.

My twin and I riding a bus through Kansas until we finally plowed off a cliff into a swamp- I’d find this prophetic if it had not already happened years ago. It was good to see her, though, and at least I was not trying to drink her chunky pureed fingers.

Pushing my way through thick underbrush, branches from tall trees slapping at my head- then realizing that those are not branches, they are the boots of murdered men hanging from the trees. (Even in the dream I recognized how cool this was, and my first thought is “THAT’S gonna turn up in my game…”)

Lots of personal stress concerning my animal- mostly feeling helpless in the face of all the hell she’s had to shoulder through this terrible winter. It all summed itself up with my realizing I was still hollow after my illness- emptied out like a mummy or piniata, and not filling fast enough, not getting stronger fast enough- when I’d try to fix things, my empty, hollowed trunk would just… cave and wrinkle, staving in in slow motion, dry as paper.

It’s been a long winter. I’m tired of being cold, weak and tired, and knowing that I have not been there for the people who count on me. I’m getting stronger, but it’s just not fast enough.

  • What did the smoothies taste like?

    • Cold, chunky and nasty.

      The texture was especially revolting…. but he was my brother; you gotta do what you gotta do.

    • essentially

      nothing with that much bone is ever gonna make a terribly smooth “smoothie”.

  • I know what you mean. Lying here helpless and watching Tone do what I’m suppose to be doing is maddening. All of my exercise regiments are out the door.

    I feel lost and helpless and not in a good way.
    I have no focus and it ‘s driving me mad.

    Miss you.

  • “Thank you, Jay. After I die, you can eat my brain, and it will give you power.”

    –Duke Phillips, from “The Critic”

    • Hopefully…

      it will taste better than the raw-unboned-mackerel shake I was choking down. Just in case, keep your nails clean. You never know where there gonna end up, and who’s gonna be trying to swallow them.

      • Re: Hopefully…

        I confess that this was, indeed, not something I had heretofore considered.

  • Lots of personal stress concerning my animal- mostly feeling helpless in the face of all the hell she’s had to shoulder through this terrible winter. It all summed itself up with my realizing I was still hollow after my illness- emptied out like a mummy or piniata, and not filling fast enough, not getting stronger fast enough- when I’d try to fix things, my empty, hollowed trunk would just… cave and wrinkle, staving in in slow motion, dry as paper.

    However, this is part of what you have your animal for. You were aware something like this could happen, and while you weren’t prepared for it, neccesarily, you do have someone there to be a service “animal” in your convalescence.

    I know I’ve said this already and I’ll say it again, if you need ANYTHING from us, and we can provide it, even if its to give your animal a break or something so she doesn’t get sick and worn out (maintenance is important), let Shana and/or I know. We care about you too much to let things go down like that.

  • Last night…I had that dream again…

    It has certainly been an active time in dreamland. I will see your Heinlein-esque tribute and raise you a demon summoning and a bitemark that appeared on my thigh and hurts like hell.

    It is good to ‘see’ you again – even as a husk, you have the ability to paint pictures with words that engenders the delightful laughter of the truly warped.

    Hang in there, Spring is coming…I know, I read it in the Enquirer.

  • wow- so I’m not the only one who has been having crazy dreams and nightmares lately. I had this nightmare a week or so ago that all of our cell phones had developed artificial intelligence and that it was bad news.

    I never was one to have nightmares. Maybe it’s something in the water.