I don’t anger easily, and I am often at a loss regarding how to handle it.
Right now, I am channeling rage. Old rage.
I met with someone I had pushed out of my life about two decades ago. I’m sure she thought it went well, that a new era of love and acceptance is being heralded in.
Good for her.
I am choking on my own bile. I want no part of her, want to offer her no part of my life. The fact that she appears to have suffered over our parting does not mollify me, it enrages me. My inner voice says “You have no right to bleed over this. None. You got what you wanted- fuck you if you regret it.”
It’s not fair, or objective. It’s not reasonable or balanced.
It’s old, and it’s furious, and it does not forgive so fucking easily.
If at all.