…With a wire brush

In The Doubtful Guest by flagg7 Comments

I don’t have sexual dreams often. Normally I consider them a sort of rare treat.

Not this time.

Some twisted neural filament of traitorous, snickering neurons decided to cast the one ex I have whom I would happily beat to death with a barbed wire bat. When I woke up- possibly out of self preservation- I literally cried:
Awwwwwwww IIIWWW!” as if in the dark of night, reaching for a lightswitch, I’d just stuck my hand in a bucketful of slugs.

I still feel unclean, like I should hunt down the throbbing brain cancer responsible for such a thing and correct it’s errant ways with a melon baller and a soldering iron, cleaning up the ruined scoop crater with alcohol and a zippo.
I know my subconcious has no particular sense of appropriateness, taste, aesthetics or essential decency… but this was not right.

Next time, a nice nightmare will do fine, thank you. Bring on the flayed dancers and the tattered gray man in the closet. Bring back the tumor that whispers. Bring ’em all back. That would be fine, thank you.

But this was just uncalled for. I mean, really.

  • Pissed anyone off lately in the nether regions of Elsewhere?

    It’s sort of the done thing amongst the clientele of certain… drinking establishments to get their own back for minor slights by inflicting sexual nightmares. Even honest-to-goodness archangels do it.

    That sounds like something Cecilia would do. But it wasn’t him because I’m looking him in the eye right now and he knows the mood I’m in. All I have to do is twitch and he’ll piss himself like a baby. He doesn’t know anything.

    Or it could just be the unpleasant stench of an underbelly emanation from your subconscious. Of course.

  • I once had a dream like that when I saw the face of who it was it was my ex-husband. I screamed both in and out of the dream.

    Had the shakes for hours.
    NOT COOL!

    I’d deal with murderous clowns before that…..well…..almost….

  • You certainly have a way with words

  • i do so love your…eloquence. yes. eloquence.

    • Since I’m not sure how to get in touch privately any more, this will have to do. Happy Birthday!

      🙂 Andrea