I am content.
I spent the day celebrating my 40th annum with a group of fifteen of the best people I know. Every person there was someone I hold in high regard, ranging from my oldest friend to some I barely really know- but they have my respect, an I value their company.
No losers, no whiners, no wet blankets. A lot of collected wit, brainpower, sincerity and heart. I looked down one end of the table at one point, and saw the four smartest people I know sitting together; I realized that I should have prepared for this eventuality and had them plan a bank job.
One of the things I valued most was the fact that the subgroups of people involved integrated well. Although people (naturally) clustered in conversational knots based on common ground and comfort, the people from my scene world and those from other parts of my life integrated beautifully. No knots of strangers staring balefully at the outsiders, Jets and Sharks at the dance; everyone just was and had a great chanve to appreciate everyone else.
The most gratifying element for me wqas being in the center of it. Not as a focus of attention, but of a gathering of people who are far more of a family to me than my family ever has been. Being in that warm knot of brilliant, wonderful people is a Norman Rockwell moment for me; the place where I feel the most safe and connected. The family I have built is far more home to me than the family I was raised by and escaped from.
Thank you for being there, all of you. It meant more than you know.