The perfect answer at the perfect time….

In The Doubtful Guest by flagg7 Comments

From a crazy fundamentalist website:

Dinosaurs didn’t eat meat. They ate plants the Creator provided for them, no doubt in a form, texture and consistency befitting their tooth structure.

I reject your claim that the dinosaurs went extinct before mankind appeared.

This is mythology with no basis in fact, and assumes veracity of highly flawed dating methods.

For as many evolution-mongers as you say support the dating methods as accurate, there are as many evolution-mongers who say they are not.

The conclusion is that they cancel each other out (as usual) and we are back to interpretation of rocks and bones that cannot speak for themselves.

Ever seen a dinosaur eat meat? (I don’t think so)

Lots of animals have “menacing teeth” but are not carnivores – carnivory is the exception in the animal kingdom..

Someone posted this as a comment:

It was obviously given those long killing-claws and pointy steakknife teeth to run down and kill those meaty post-Fall plants.

You know, the ones that were made of meat.

And could run around and flee herbivorous predators.

Yes, forests of meaty bacon trees and hambushes, stretching as far as the eye can see, slowly roaming the land in majestic herds like the buffalo, while tiny herds of parsnips and melons nipped at their bark-encrusted flanks.

Which neatly explains why grasses and flowing plants like cacti are found above tree-ferns and giant lycopodiums in flat-lying sedimentary rock strata. Most of them were made of meat at the time and could therefore run for higher ground when the flood hit. There were probably velociraptors in hot pursuit of their fleeing grasses, cactuses and fruit trees, trying to run down their retreating meals like a fat retarded kid chasing an ice cream truck, but they were just a little too slow to catch up and so are found in lower rock strata, where they were drowned. But it didn’t matter, because they all drowned anyway, along with the trilobites and the primitive prairie ammonites.

All the plants that survive today are descended from the ones Noah took along on the ark, which were made of vegetable stuff and thus stayed where you put them. Obviously you don’t want meatfruit trees and man-eating orchids wandering aimlessly around the decks of a storm-tossed ship terrorizing the animals. The herbivorous dinosaurs couldn’t eat the vegetable veggies and were all too slow to catch up to the blindingly fast mammals such as sloths and cows, and all starved out for lack of their usual prey of beefmelons and pork trees.

Also, space is made of special water, Adam and Eve were tall like Zentraedi, pre-Flood wood was harder and stronger than steel, the Ark is sitting in Turkey, up is down, and black is white. And the world is hollow and I have touched the sky.

Poetry.

  • I read this and snorted with laughter.

    It was highly unattractive.

    Rawk.

  • Oh, completely FTW!

  • “Also, space is made of special water…”

    Brilliant.

    • I can no longer roast poultry without saying “Chicken! Good!”. My dog is named LeeLuu

  • um, gee, I don’t think I’m taking the right drugs

  • Thank you! I REALLY needed this tonight…

    Thank you!

    /me grumbles about kids/puberty/lack of ability to lock them in a room until they are ready to move out