Move over, Nigeria..

In The Doubtful Guest by flagg6 Comments

From Fetlife cometh THIS pearl, this gem, this treasure:

"Hello Master,

Thank you very much for your sincere interest in our well trained Slave jelly. Slave jelly is a well trained and one of the top slaves in this great organization, she is well oriented and a lady with high sense of humor,intelligent, very submissive and obedient will serve you well. I personally will recommend her because of her outstanding qualities and determination.

After we read your email today, we had a brief meeting with my board of directors to discuss about your wishes, and we concluded by calling her into the meeting for a brief interview during her leisure period, to know about her interest as a person you intend to secure from our Association, but i think we should say you are fortunate that she responded well as i can feel it in her that you are exactly her Match, and which we hence have no obligations against since she has agreed to choose you as her Master.

But i think it is important we let you know that you should try and be fast with every arrangement you want to make in securing slave jelly as your own because we cannot afford to delay her if we find another potential master that is ready to secure her immediately,and again we cannot allow you into this camp until you have paid to show some kind of commitment on your own side too.

But however, before the release of Slave jelly from our Association you will have to go through the necessary procedure as we do in our great organization.We shall require you to give us some information, in order to keep records on where slave is been traded to and who own them after our trainings, and then after you shall pay us off the sum of 750 pounds for our BDSM care,upkeep and training fee which enable slaves to serve master in a more submissive manners till they get satisfied.

Let us know when you have sent the required payment by getting back to us with all the necessary information,However all this is been done to ensure your slaves are in good hands and not with some nuts or serial killers who derives pleasure in maiming or torturing their slaves to death.

This fund is payable via Western Union Money Transfer.

And after you have undergone the two(2) process by giving us the required information and paying of the BDSM fee, you have own the slave completely from our association and you can hence negotiate any other thing privately with slave as you wish and please yourself. Then we can release all slave traveling documents and international passport and free them to locate you down your destination.

So kindly get back to us if you wish us to proceed with the release of slave jelly, so that all the necessary papers can be work out immediately.

Thank you,

The Association president

Keep watching the skies, hoss- I hear they air drop ’em second day. Just paint a big "X" on the trailer roof, so they know which doublewide to aim for.

"I have a cunning plan, M’lord!" – Baldrick

  • I saw you respond to this and i had a SERIOUS case of the giggles. -gigglefit-

    • Let him know that I am the US Attache for The Association, and, given the issues with currency exchange and costs of wiring money across international borders, he can, instead, wire $750 USD to me and I’ll make the arrangements on his behalf.

  • that is freakin Hilarious (or pitiful. or both) 😉

    • Satire, surely. A joke.

      It’s so perfectly wrong.

  • Y’know…I read that post, and the most silly part of it, to me, was that the dude was asking “is this real?” – and he didn’t seem to have any irony in the question.

  • “slave jelly”, eh? I think I’ll print that out as little labels and stick ’em on my bottles of lube. ‘S’gotta nice ring to it.