I gave my presentation on Voice and Inflection at TES last night. It went splendidly. Much better than I could have expected. 50+ person turnout, with a minimum of numbnuts. Great audience response, good interaction, and a few helpful people in the crowd to intimidate to make a point otr two.

I thought of my friend Jester, and wished he’d been there- he’s always had an eye for- and appreciation of- the tricks and tools I’ve used. I think he would have had a great time, and I could almost hear him laughing in the crowd. When I spoke, I was vividly reminded of times and people whose absence I still feel keenly, and of the secret language of twins. I could feel moments I had shared with them flickering through my teeth like a serpent’s tongue, and I shared a little of the poison scorpions trade when mating.

Not more then they could handle. Not even close to the truth of it all- but just a taste; and a taste is really nothing at all. My animal was in attendance, and others were just as present- in what I said, in what I shared, in what I’ve learned.

I received this from someone I did not previously know. I found it absurdly flattering- so naturally, I have to post it here. My vanity demands no less:

A Lesson about gender

copyright 2002 by Xan West

From the first time i saw those boots, i was mesmerized. Big, black, obviously steel toed. But what got me were the ragged metal fangs around the ankle, not quite teething the leather. Unabashedly a bootlicker,

i was captivated by the challenge that His boots posed my tongue. From the

moment that i saw Him spank her harder than hell with that strap, making

sure it hit close to home with roleplay based on her stint in the Israeli

army, i knew. From the moment i saw the boy? dyke? serving Him as He Topped

her, it was definite: i wanted to know Him. Not just Him. i wanted to know

all three of them.

So when i was there in the dungeon still floating from my scene, and i saw

them playing, i had to watch. i was rooted to the spot. And i realized

watching Him…with His girl…with His boy…how utterly gendered D/s can

be.

with His girl: Intimate. Reaching into all those places instinctively

guarded. So dangerously deliciously intimate. Blade menacing her eyes,

piercing the inside of her lower lip. She’s bound, revealed, facing the

voyeurs. Intensity building. Silky sliding penetration. Fear twisting into

pain. she’s tough. It’s not about breaking her. It’s about ripping her open

slowly, savoring each tear, each exposure, each soft sound. Trembling. Very

few words, simply soft gasps and pleading eyes. Him. Up close. Very close.

Slowly split open like fruit, tears dripping.

with His boy: he’s not bound, not still. he takes positions braced against

hardness. Hard wall. Hard floor. Back to the crowd for the entirety.

Physical distance between them, He is huge, towering over His boy.

Percussive, building slow rythym. Simple tools: Fists. Boots. Belt.

Punching. Kicking. Beating. Jarring. boy required to hold position. Made to

do push ups, pushed to physical limits. Constant verbal interaction. the

boys voice keeping rythym. Counting off. Tears present, but not the point.

Fear not the point. he’s tough. It’s not about breaking him. It’s about

building him up, revealing his strength to him. A lesson. The building of

something important. boy taking pride in himself. Sir taking pride in His

boy.

Gorgeous to watch. Both scenes. All the way through the aftercare to the end

where they kissed those amazing boots. Each sub is different. Each

interaction specific. But there was something that seemed so gendered about

this, that it captivated me completely, created possibility. And when He let

His girl out of the cage where she had been watching Him Top His boy, and

she said, “i will never get the pronouns confused again, it is so completely

different,” i was floored. Because thats exactly where my mind went.

Topping a boy is utterly different from Topping a girl. And i realized how

amazing they were, those few Dominants that saw and celebrated me in my

multiple genders.

There was one other thing which is worth noting. Social dynamics were surging and straining all around me. Anger is beginning to surface, and things will have to get worse before they get better. But during all this, one person showed me yet again that he has his heart in the right place, that he’s someone I can count on. Almost makes a guy want to enlist in the Kiss Army. Almost.

Thank you, Pete.