Listen Up, You Medevil Screwheads… THIS is my BOOM STICK!

In The Doubtful Guest by flagg8 Comments

: Cue music from “Brazil”:
So, nothing happened. I jumped through the hoops, I juggled the chainsaws, gave blood, got irradiated, EKG, EEG, PDQ, yadda yadda yadda…

Nothing.

My co-ordinator who handles my donor never received notice that I passed my tests; even though I already had. So… nothing can happen. No scheduling, Nicole can’t come north- nothing happens.

Two weeks later, I have gone back and forth with Nicole enough to isolate the disconnect- I got on the phone and applied the skill that long term hospitalization had taught me: Raising Holy Fucking Hell with paper- pushers.

Several acres of scorched earth later, things are moving again.

Jesus people, don’t mind me, it’s just my LIFE. Of course I don’t mind important documents gathering dust in your fax machine. Silly, Silly me. I’m just dying. You go ahead and do whatever it is you were doing.

Give me my kidney then die, .goatfuckers.

Don’t make me limp my sick ass down there.
 I swear, the first piss I take is gonna be in your coffeepot.