New Years

New Years is special for me- it is my Mother’s time, spiritually (And how often are you going to hear me use that word in public?) A time for rebirth.

That’s exactly what last night was.

I terrorized a lovely stranger, watching her shake and stammer and ask the dark for her Daddy. Delightful.Even more  so to tell her that her Daddy was not here, it was just us. That there was no safety net, and no place to go but down.

I was among my closest pack and some friends, and spent the heart of my evening leaving scarred bootprints in a mind that wanted them, needed them. It’s been years since I felt this whole, this alive. I forgot all about my health, my leg, my limitations. They were gone, and I was doing what I was made to do. I was content, sunning myself like a great black snake digesting it’s prey on a hot rock. Quiet. Content. At peace.

Again. At last.

Coming home I found a note from someone who still, after time and distance and a lot of pain, holds me in the regard I hold most priceless, and who I will always miss, every day.

"What rough Beast, his hour rolled ’round at last, slouches toward Bethlehem, waiting to be born?"

Too late.

He’s here.

Happy New Year.


9 responses to “New Years”

  1. I’m happy I was able to help be a part of you remembering who you are. I have never forgotten. And you are more then correct “Kimi knows when to get the hell out!” ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Oh how I would have liked to watch. (Does that make me a pervert?)

    Welcome back.

  3. Bad, bad, bad.

    “Oh how I would have liked to watch. (Does that make me a pervert?)”

    Yes it does.
    You should be ashamed of yourself. Bad, bad, bad.

  4. Re: Bad, bad, bad.

    You should be ashamed of yourself. Bad, bad, bad.

    lucky thing I’m a masochist too

  5. For no reason that I can identify, I find this satisfying.

    And while I can’t name them, I know I’m not the only one.

  6. We would like to thank you all again for a wonderful time. I am the Daddy of an ecstatic girl.
    She is “out” at work to her immediate supervisor & a few other close workmates. They are young & brag loudly among themselves. Guys that I’ve dubbed the good humor men b/c of their vanilla lifestyles. Teasing goes on from both sides, like their mock disappointment that she came back from TF with no broken bones. When she told them the story of Wed night, Everyone agreed that it was hot!
    With them being unfamiliar with your work, but being Yankee fans, she explained it as if they were touring the stadium. On the field is Babe Ruth. Babe offers them a game of catch. You get out on that damned field & catch that ball!

  7. Re: Bad, bad, bad.

    if wanting to watch makes one a pervert…

    then what does it make you if you experience stomach-wrenching, adrenaline-pumping, fear/joy/envy that makes you dust out the welcome mat of the mind in the off-chance that like a demented cinderella story, the faded boot imprints will be once again filled, old scars reopened and new damage done?

    I am SOOO happy your new years went well for your soul…

    warm regards for an amazing year.