The Doubtful Guest

  • Nemesis

    In the jungleOf the sensesTinkerbell… and Jack the RipperLove has no meaningNot where we come fromBut we know pleasureIs not that simpleVery littleFruit is forbiddenSometimes we wobbleSometimes we’re strongBut you know EvilIs an exact scienceBeing carefully, correctly wrong. Priests and cannibalsPrehistoric animalsEverybody happy when the dead come homeBig black nemesisParthenogenisisNo one move a muscle when…

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  • Wonderous gifts and little mysteries

    I have received two anonymous gifts in the mail over the last two weeks… I have a strong suspicion about where the Joyce Carol Oates film came from, as we have shared her work before, but the sharp, sharp shiny one has left me at a loss. If you are responsible for either of these…

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  • I dreamed of walking

    Easily. No cane. Long distances. With friends. Outside. No pain. No exhaustion. Walking. I’m on antidepressants and I still feel like throwing myself under a bus.I’m so tired of this body, of being sick. So tired. This sucks.

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  • A return to stability

    My glasses found, order in my environs is restored- thanks to Kimiko and Soulhuntre. In addition, I have gotten word that my first vendor wants to sell The Forked Tongue, and that the Core Protocol Seminar is ready to launch. I am a much happier camper.

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  • Dammit.

    Woke up this Am, can’t find my fucking glasses. Without them, I cannot see to find my fucking glasses. Gah.

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  • Stand Down

    Stand down- Rogosin called, the donor pancreas/ kidney were not in good enough shape for transplant. Still- it is nice to know they are actively looking, and doing the job. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

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  • Deep Breath…

    Ok. I just got a call from the Kidney People at Rogosin.They have a potential kidney/ pancreas donor going under the knife tomorrow. If they call, I go in for a new kidney/ pancreas set. Tomorrow. I won’t know until then. Maybe 10 AM. Possibly surgery around 4:30. I’ll find out tomorrow. Oh, yeah, I’m…

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  • Afraid.

    Someone i love very, very much is in hell. There is not really anything I can do. I am afraid of how this is going to turn out. I am am afraid for her, and i am afraid of losing her. I am afraid.

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  • Memes with ulterior motives…

    OK, yet another meme- but there’s a reason.Here’s Entertainment Weekly’s list of the top movies of the last 25 years. Go through their list and BOLD the ones you have seen, ITALICIZE those you love/would watch over and over again, STRIKE OUT those you dislike strongly or really would rather never see again. 1. Pulp…

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  • The 100 book Meme

    I’m usually meme- allergic, but I like this one.(From babalon_it) 1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.3) Underline the books you LOVE.4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less…

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  • There is a space…

    … next to my bed, where my Animal used to sleep. We talked tonight, for the first time in… whenever. Not exchanged news and pleasantries, we’ve done that. We said things that had been hanging unsaid. She made me laugh. She made me miss her. She made me fondly relive some of the best things…

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  • Gratitude

    I had one hell of an amazing weekend. I don’t know where to begin. So we’ll start at the end, and work our way back. Exhausted? Sure. Sore? Sure. Sick? Nope. Three days of exertion and activity in an outside environment for the first time since I left the arms of Mother Geriatrica, and I…

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