After my surgery, I wrote furiously to keep myself sane while I dealt with rehab. I worked on a project I had started in 2006, in another rehab, after a previous string of – eventually useless- surgeries. Then I came home, and everything changed. Exhaustion, depression, pain, anxiety and desperation, profound feelings of isolation and…
It’s looking really, really good. The Core Protocol Seminar project is hammering out beautifully. It’s looking to be a six week course with at least a thirty page handbook, all dedicated to the science of constructing a working, functional protocol. Exercises, instructor feedback, the works… and best of all, it’s not “This is what I…
I teach again at TES tonight, after a long hiatus. I’m really looking forward to it. The topic is one I was asked to address: “Coming out Dominant”; not a science or how-to but a more abstract discussion addressing the paradoxes and difficulties of emerging into the public scene. it will be good to be…
OK, one last video….This is footage from a Phillipine prison yard, where the Warden has…. alternate rehabilitation ideas.The best part of this is knowing it’s happening at gunpoint.
You cannot guess how much of this insane crap is on YouTube right now. This is, apparently, the true purpose of the internet.
Well, with any luck, this kidney thing will pan out before I start pressuring my friends to have extra children they are not terribly attached to that I might harvest tiny, healthy organs from. How many baby kidneys make a real kidney, anyway? 4:1? 5:1?
Just got the word from Rogosin- we have a potential match with my donor. She has a lot of testing to get through before this is in any way certain (this is how far we got last time); but any progress is good news. I try not to get my hopes up too high, but…
Unspeakable.
Today was spent brainstorming with Soulhuntre and Lone_Wolf on the Seminar project- a six week course on Dominance and Protocol. It’s coming together- it’s tight, it’s real. It’s the best thing we’ve ever done.If we see this through- and we will- I think it’s going to matter. It feels very, very right. And it feels…
i am so fucking lucky. I am blessed with such ruin, and such glory. And such poetry.I am so grateful “for every moment of my stupid little life.You may have no idea what I mean… …but you will.” Thank you.
Tomorrow AM, I meet Kate at Rogosin and we get tested to see if she is a potential donor. This is the first flaming hoop of many- but I am profoundly grateful that she is willing to try, and potentially alter her life for my benefit, regardless of the verdict. Here we go again.
From a crazy fundamentalist website: Dinosaurs didn’t eat meat. They ate plants the Creator provided for them, no doubt in a form, texture and consistency befitting their tooth structure. I reject your claim that the dinosaurs went extinct before mankind appeared. This is mythology with no basis in fact, and assumes veracity of highly flawed…
Phone rings. It’s the Rogosin transplant clinic. “We wanted to tell you that your donor has passed screening so we’d like to make an appointment for you both to come in.”“What?” I’m confused as we start discussing dates, I’m on autopilot. I finally connect two synapses, and ask “Um… which donor are we speaking of?”…
Thanks to everyone in The Network, the saftey-net-hive-mind that, for some reason, conspires to keep me alive and well. Had this been an actual emergency, it’s comforting to know you are out there. Special thanks to Jay, who trucked out to help return my kitchen to a state which does not resemble a scene from…